Schrödinger’s Cat in the Hat Box
When Heisenberg announced with pleasure,
“There are some things you cannot measure.
Not simultaneously at least.”
His irritating smile increased.
“The surer the momentum’s grown,
The less position will be known.”
“But that’s not all,” intruded Bohr.
(A name quite apt. I won’t say more)
“It’s observation perhaps
That makes the wave function collapse.
Until it does it’s all just smeared.
OK, I know it sounds quite weird.
But quantum physics can’t be knocked -
Its implications leave all shocked,
Except those, on the other hand,
Who simply do not understand.”
So Schrödinger, that studious gent
Devised a thought experiment.
A box, some acid and a jigger
Set off by a quantum trigger,
A cat, whose life or death would show
Emission had occurred or no.
You wouldn’t know until you looked
If that poor feline’s goose was cooked,
And it would be, or so he said,
Alive and at the same time dead.
Well so they say, but have no doubt
He actually tried it out,
And in a box set up like that
Securely locked his neighbour’s cat
That philosophical feline
Was to his fate quite unresigned
Though in the box he chose to linger
Mouthing curses at Schrödinger
Waiting for the Geiger’s chatter
Waiting for the phial to shatter
Waits till he can’t wait no more
(For waiting’s such a dreadful Bohr)
Until at last the lid was pried
Open and someone looked inside.
Relief! Survival! Best of men! -
But Erwin clamped it shut again.
And so the cat just lay there thinking
Tail just twitching, eyes unblinking,
“Werner says you can’t be knowing
Where I’m at AND how fast I’m going.
But I exactly know my speed
(Well, zero isn’t hard to read)
And that implies,” so thought the cat,
“Momentum’s nada - which means that
My position can’t be guessed -
There, I knew you’d be impressed -
So I don’t need to mess with locks -
It’s time to think outside the box.”
Well others here will understand
The consequences, though unplanned,
Of mixing up - that cunning devil! -
The micro with the macro level.
An hour passed. Erwin came back
And opened up the box a crack,
Then wider still and stood to stare -
The box was now completely bare!
And as he stuck his head inside
He caught a whiff of cyanide
And dropped down dead (they say it hurts -
I say it was his just deserts).
No, I’m not going to apologise. This was inspired by an article on TalkPolitics, and I just took up the idea and ran with it. Right, who’s going to finish off ‘Harry Potter and the Management Consultant’?
October 4th, 2005 at 7:59 pm
This is like totally the business. Inspired is right.
*applauds enthusiastically*
October 5th, 2005 at 9:19 pm
Reminds me of boyhood, reading “The Strange Story of the Quantum” with its chapter titles including “The Atom of Neils Bohr” followed by “The Atom oh Bohr Kneels”. Pip, pip.
October 5th, 2005 at 9:20 pm
Bugger, that’s “of Bohr”. Sorry.
October 9th, 2005 at 11:07 am
Britblog Roundup # 34
Here we are again, the Britblog Roundup. Your nominations for the best blogging of this past week in the UK and Irish internetwebbie thingummajig. You can make your nominations for next week to britblog AT gmail DOT com. This is
October 9th, 2005 at 12:35 pm
There is a palpable desire
Upon the part of particles
Imbued with certain energies
That desire is for peace
surcease
Eons of awaited sleep
In thin silicate sponge
At every opportunity
To surrender their energy
They leap
And as we trick them through the hoops
Through which they quickly plunge
And bait them with the hope of
Peace that never comes
They weep and watch us mimic them
Until they are what we’ve become
October 9th, 2005 at 6:03 pm
Umm, doesn’t the cat belong to Schrodinger? (with an umlaut)
Other than that can I put this in my anthology?
October 9th, 2005 at 6:04 pm
Can’t see an email addy round here. Can you drop me a line so I can get the release to you?
October 9th, 2005 at 6:32 pm
Perhaps the cruelty of experimenting on a neighbour’s pet makes his fate more deserved. Or perhaps I got carried away and didn’t notice this glaring flaw.
Anyway, sure. I’m honoured to be in such good company.
October 9th, 2005 at 6:34 pm
Damn, I’ve just noticed I’m called ‘Administrator’. Have to find a way of changing that.
Pete
October 9th, 2005 at 6:36 pm
By the way Tom, that’s really nice.
Rather puts my slapstick comedy in its place, but I have to stick to what I’m least bad at.
Pete
December 23rd, 2005 at 1:01 pm
I’m not certain where I’ll be…
The long weekend starteth here, and truly, I am in a state of Heisenberg about when I can get online again. So I googled for Heisenberg, and found (and stole) this: Schödinger’s Cat in the Hat Box When Heisenberg
February 2nd, 2006 at 12:50 pm
[...] This rhyming stuff just seems to take over your mind - sort of like OCD - one just leads naturally on to another like ritual hand-washing. [...]
February 11th, 2006 at 12:04 pm
The Curator’s Egg.
A comment at Talk Politics led to an outburst of poetry. Quite wonderful, quantum mechanics and Dr. Seuss from The Curator’s Egg: Schödinger’s Cat in the Hat Box When Heisenberg announced with pleasure, “There are some things you cannot